Prachee Shah, New Delhi. Before you start reading, I’d like you to answer this one particular question and give it a thought.
Do you trust yourself?
You see, we live in a world where physical pain is given more importance than emotional pain. Where every other person is hurting inside and yet fears speaking about it. We have our family, friends our loved ones. However, somehow there’s always this void in our heart that we can’t seem to fill. We feel lonely in a sea of almost 8 million people. We seek solitude when we’re around these amazing people in our lives and virtual communication when left all alone.
What are we chasing? Happiness? Our Dreams? Ambitions? Love? Fame? Money?
What exactly will fill this void?
And what will happen when you accomplish those desires? Will you be truly happy? Or will you have another set of goals which when completed will give you happiness? You see, the cycle never ends.
Since our childhood, we have been taught to seek external validation. This “log kya kahenge” mentality has been subconsciously engraved into our minds. It doesn’t even have to be a big decision. We send screenshots of our messages to our friends asking them, “what should I text back?. We call them and ask them what they’ll be wearing to this party and would it be okay if you wear that black dress of yours. Choosing our careers has more to do with our future status in the society than our passion.
When we ask for someone’s advice on something, we don’t realise that the advice they’re giving has many layers. It comprises of their experiences, their opinions, their values, their Morales. Can you find yourself in these layers? The answer would be No ofcourse. Nobody and when I say nobody, I mean NOBODY has been through what you’ve experienced. NOBODY has the exact thought process like you do. They might have had their struggles but they don’t know all about you. So, why do we feel the need to ask for their opinions on our lives? Why can’t we for once make our own choices. I’m not saying all your choices will be correct. But, when it all goes down, you won’t have to blame anyone. You will have the right to say, “I’m the one who did this and I have the power to stand up and correct it.”
When you’re down and hurting, as much as you would like for people to be there for you, you need to understand that this won’t always be the case. Everyone has their own lives. They’ll try their best, but they won’t be able to fill that void you have in your chest. Only you can do it. If you learn to be happy without a reason by yourself, if you learn to be proud of yourself and at the same time try to be a better version of this beautiful person that you already are, I think that’s where true happiness lies. In living life with you as the priority.
I’ve experienced lots of judgements in my life. Be it about my physical appearance or my mental well being or even my upbringing. I won’t lie. They used to hurt me and I used to question myself. But, now I feel like why? Why did I let these people get into my head when they don’t know me at all? Why does your opinion on yourself changes based on how people are to you, the number of likes on your photo, the number of friends that you have, your salary? Why? One day, you’ll feel good when someone compliments your personality and the next day you’ll be insecure cause someone said you’re very rude and arrogant. It doesn’t make sense!
When you start detaching yourself emotionally from other people’s opinions, you start appreciating yourself more. You start identifying your mistakes on your own. You start being happy. And you don’t need a reason to feel the happiness you deserve.
We only live once. Why not live and love ourselves for who we are ? Why not start making these choices; small AND big on our own? Why not have some self trust?